


Rotten Blood & Tough Love

by jellyryans (ryankellycc)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Nishinoya Yuu & Tanaka Ryuunosuke are Bros, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, graphic descriptions of coffins, mentions of blood and blood drinking, writer thinks they're funny but jury's still out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 08:19:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16472057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryankellycc/pseuds/jellyryans
Summary: Written forfish_wifeyas part of the 2018Haikyuu!! fantasy exchange.Tanaka had an excellent evening to himself but returning home to his boyfriend isn't nearly as relaxing as he hoped it would be.





	Rotten Blood & Tough Love

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno guys, heed some of the usual warnings for vampires. They drink blood. They aren't alive the way humans are. Mentions of unbeating hearts and corpses. They sleep in coffins. My vampires have psychic abilities. 
> 
> Pon, hope you enjoy! Your requests gave me so much life and I'm crossing my fingers that this brings you even a fraction of the joy they gave me. Thanks for being a lovely human <3

Dew drops clung to dying leaves like diamonds, and in the air hung the harsh promise of an early winter. Wind wove through verdant groves and trees groaned as their branches swayed. Every once and a while, a bird trilled on its chosen limb. The forest murmured quietly until an ambling, off-beat tune sliced through the stillness like a knife. 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke was perfectly capable of moving noiselessly through the dark, but he was too relaxed to bother and tucked his hands deeper into his jacket pockets, whistling as he walked. 

He’d gotten lucky that night. The downtown strip where he preferred to feed had been packed. Hordes of humans roamed the streets and clogged the bars, and Tanaka couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to feed so easily. He’d even tapped a few extra people just for the thrill. He rubbed his belly through his black sports jacket. It was a pointless gesture for a vampire, which made him laugh. 

The satisfaction of a good meal made it easy to shrug off the self-recrimination that tried to elbow its way to the front of his mind. He laughed again, a little louder and a little longer, but the sound eventually died in his throat and he was left only with the muted murmuring of early morning and his wandering thoughts. 

It’d been fun, gallivanting about town on his own and helping himself to way more warm blood than necessary, but the walk home wasn’t nearly as enjoyable without a companion. A lazy grin crawled its way into the corners of his lips and lingered in his features. 

The thought of seeing his boyfriend after a whole night apart put a welcome hop in his step and he poked around in their shared psychic connection. After a few moments of searching, he came up with nothing. The empty static between them wasn’t unusual, and Tanaka wasn't worried. When a vampire allowed another into to their head space, they could share thoughts across oceans, but the same vampire could raise a mental wall and block their thoughts. 

He kicked a rock and watched it disturb the fallen leaves at his feet. In the distance, he heard the stone hit the bark of an unsuspecting tree. It wasn’t a secret that Tanaka still had a hard time keeping his thoughts from spilling out all over the place, but older, more experienced vampires could do it in their sleep. 

Sawamura Daichi was an old vampire. Old and important. He practically carried their small supernatural community on his capable shoulders and was the first to hold out a helping hand as well as the the last to leave. 

Sawamura Daichi was also his boyfriend. Tanaka scrunched his face in thought, trying to remember exactly what his very important boyfriend had to do that kept them apart all night. 

He’d definitely mentioned traversing the other side of the woods to see another group of vampires and grumbled under his breath about their annoying habit of murdering humans after feeding, but the details escaped him. 

Admittedly, in his sleepy early evening haze, he’d been less concerned with the details of Daichi’s business and more bothered by having been jostled awake earlier than he’d have liked. He supposed it wasn’t all bad, looking back on it. He’d been able to fall back asleep after Daichi kissed him goodbye and slipped away. It always sucked to wake up to an empty space instead of a boyfriend, but he didn’t have time to mope earlier that evening. 

Daichi wasn't the only vampire with important plans, and Tanaka had woken up just in time to greet his friend at the door. 

Despite centuries upon centuries of dictating against it, having a human friend was awesome, and Nishinoya Yuu was as awesome as they came. 

It had been relatively easy to get Daichi and their other roommates to promise not to feed off him when Tanaka had brought Nishinoya home for the first time. Nishinoya had fit into their rag-tag group like it didn’t matter he had functioning organs full of blood and he had made it his own personal mission to help them catch up with modern human technology. Computers. The internet. Streaming television. Nishinoya didn’t mind walking them through the buttons, wires and on-screen tutorials the first or even twentieth time. 

He even put up with Daichi. 

Tanaka loved the guy, but he could be downright crotchety. He made Tanaka’s 149 years look like nothing but a blip and he didn’t always appreciate change in his routine. The first time he’d used a computer, he pressed a key and jumped back with a hiss when the character popped up on the screen. He spent the week after complaining about humans dabbling in witchcraft and mourning the sad fate of those wayward mortals. 

Eventually, months and months later, he’d succumbed to the human magic and signed up for an email address. He’d even laughed at a meme once, and Tanaka had high-fived Nishinoya so hard the human fell flat on his ass. Nishinoya still agreed it was worth the sore rump.

While the computer lessons were enjoyable, his friend hadn’t trekked all the way to their humble vampire abode that evening to check their progress on the most recent show to hit the internet. 

Their plans were much more interesting. 

Modern entertainment was pretty glorious, and Tanaka would seriously consider true death before giving it up, but nothing could beat a solid and well-rehearsed mirror show. Without a reflection, Tanaka could lift cups in the air and pretend to drink or configure action figures like they were really just tiny humans or creatures with minds of their own. He always managed to get at least a few laughs (other than his own), and the first time he’d performed one for Nishinoya, the human begged him for a part.

He’d been skeptical of letting his friend in on the sacred ritual of mirror entertainment, but Nishinoya wore him down.

As it turned out, human actors opened up a world of new possibilities. 

They’d agreed to figure out the logistics of the daring feat that would wrap up their first joint production, a maneuver not meant for the faint of heart, beating or atrophied. Tanaka would use his superhuman strength to lift Nishinoya over his head and help him soar through the air like the blue spandex-wearing caped superhero in the comics he’d read a few decades earlier. 

They had the theory, but their first few attempts were disastrous. Tanaka had forgotten how strong he was, Nishinoya had forgotten how delicate humans were and they floundered until Nishinoya had pulled up a movie on the clunky laptop he’d procured for the vampires. At the end, a graceful lady ran toward a hunky man and jumped just as he caught her around the waist. The move was perfect for the show, and it didn’t hurt that the story about two humans overcoming their stupid family bullshit and allowing themselves to love was better than Tanaka thought it’d be. 

No matter what Nishinoya claimed, he definitely hadn’t cried, because vampires didn’t cry, and he definitely wasn’t tearing up thinking about it. Just to play it safe, Tanaka peeked over his shoulder before wiping his face with the back of his sleeve. 

They practiced until midnight, when Nishinoya had to hike back to the cabin he shared with his grandfather. 

That was the one and only downside to having a human friend. Tanaka pouted even though there was no one to bear witness to his emotional struggle. Nishinoya had to go home before the night even started, and the human’s departure had left him alone in the big, rickety house. There had been no trace of his other roommates. Iwaizumi and Kyoutani had been gone since he’d woken up, and he never really knew where Shimizu-san was unless she was staring him in the face. Her mental walls were fortified with iron. He sighed loudly enough to startle a small bird out of the closest bush. Shimizu Kiyoko’s mental walls were just as beautiful as she was.

Tanaka felt a prickle at the base of his skull, derailing his train of thought. The tingling sensation spread across his shoulders and pooled in his chest, where his heart no longer beat, which meant that Daichi was home, and Tanaka was almost there to join him. 

He loved Nishinoya with every extra ounce of his immortal soul and he could swoon over Shimizu-san’s psychic prowess happily for centuries, but Daichi was waiting for him and that outweighed everything else. 

The prickling blossomed, smoothed and pulsed in his chest, and even though the skin stretched over his rib cage was cold, he felt his heart beat like a human’s. There was no other way to describe the feeling of knowing you got to sleep the impending day away with the vampire you loved in a single coffin.

Tanaka lifted his shoulders to his ears and nuzzled his smile into the collar of his sports jacket with contented wiggle. The thought of their coffin sent another tidal wave of imagined warmth crashing through his useless veins. 

Their coffin had a lush satin interior with soft cream-colored fabric that wrapped them both up like a classy bear hug. It was roomy enough for two but snug enough that a bare minimum of cuddling was required in order for them both to fit. The black polished wood of the exterior shone like the night sky illuminated by the full moon. Chrome accents reflected the starlight so exquisitely that Tanaka seriously considered taking up poetry so that he could sing its praises every day in new and creative ways.

Remembering the most recent addition to the outside of their coffin made Tanaka want to leap for joy on the spot, right in the middle of the woods. He'd ogled the slick detailed cars that came through town while he fed for months and when he'd mentioned the idea to Nishinoya, he'd said he knew a guy who worked in a detail shop and wouldn’t ask any questions. Tanaka handpicked the red, yellow, orange and blue flames from a book of designs exactly one night after they'd talked and within two hours the designs licked their way across the sides of the box. 

Even their newest roommate, cool-guy Kyoutani Kentarou, couldn’t hold his usual sneer. 

Tanaka had been quite the rabble rouser in his day, but Kyoutani was young, having just been born with their other roommate’s help a few years ago, and he thought he was, in Tanaka’s unbiased opinion, hot shit. He wore coils of sweet spiky jewelry and had stupid black stripes dyed into his bleached hair and made a giant stink about wearing some fancy eyeliner that Shimizu-san had gotten for him out of the goodness of her undead heart. 

He wasn’t jealous, per se, but he liked to imagine Kyoutani’s impressed expression when he needed something to boost his mood. 

Daichi, on the other hand, had been less awed by the new embellishments. He’d been quick to point out that the design was in poor taste, given that they could actually burst into flames. He also might’ve said he’d never seen anything so tacky in all his years, but Tanaka couldn’t rightly say he was sorry and Daichi sure hadn’t minded slipping into it, flames and all. 

Tanaka counted the whole experience as a win, even if he still caught Daichi eyeing it with thinly veiled contempt.

The thick curtains of trees to his sides thinned and cleared altogether. Tanaka followed the path with his eyes, straight up to the front steps of their house. The roof was partially collapsed, the paint peeled and the wood rotted where water gathered during the winter. It was a building that humans had forgotten, but it was the most welcoming sight he'd ever seen.

Despite the knowledge that sprinting home would look intensely stupid, Tanaka picked up speed anyway. In the blink of an eye, he was at the front door and reaching for the handle. As soon as he touched it, he was taken aback by a wave of bitter frustration. 

Any anticipation he’d felt on the way home evaporated into thin air. He'd recognize that brand of anger any night. Daichi was mad, and if Tanaka listened closely he could hear the floorboards creak under his feet as he paced the front room. 

_Crap_ , he thought. 

Running away occurred to him briefly, but he’d already felt the hooks of Daichi’s inner voice sink into his mind. He’d been so distracted by a full dose of fresh blood and happy thoughts that he forgot to guard himself, and he could sense the rest of his housemates gathered in the front room. 

Taking a breath he didn’t need to take, Tanaka pulled the door open. Just as he expected, Daichi was pacing and three other pairs of eyes stared back at him from where their corresponding bodies were seated on their mismatched furniture. 

Of course, and definitely not because Daichi was glaring at him, Tanaka made eye contact with Shimizu-san first. She stared at him impassively from a folding chair with her hands resting in her lap. Tanaka tried to reach out for a clue as to why Daichi was glowering, but her mind was carefully blank. The only thing out of place in her sublime presentation was the smudge of light pink lipstick on the shirt collar that rested tenderly against her skin.

Iwaizumi lounged next to her in a wooden chair, looking comfortable despite Tanaka knowing exactly how uncomfortable that chair was. Vampires might’ve had a high pain tolerance, but Tanaka couldn’t sit in that chair for more than three seconds without squirming and cursing whatever demon had forged it. Iwaizumi looked like he could sit there all day. 

When Tanaka reached toward him, the only thing he got was a sharp jab of confusion and the smallest pin-prick of annoyance. 

Kyoutani, dutifully seated next to his maker, was the polar opposite. He perched on the seat of the most comfortable chair in the room, a recliner that Tanaka had swiped off the street in one of his prouder pilfering adventures, but he was tense, like a animal contracting its muscles before it pounced. Kyoutani had his elbows on his knees and his chin on his knuckles. If Daichi weren’t burning holes in the side of his head with his eyes, Tanaka would’ve laughed at the way Kyoutani’s head bobbed with each bounce of his knee. 

Sensing Tanaka’s attempt to sneak into his mind, Kyoutani hissed and made to get up, but Iwaizumi nudged him with his foot. 

“Ken?”

Instantly, Kyoutani closed his mouth and sat back down, but his murderous expression didn’t waver, and Tanaka didn’t have much time to react before Daichi cleared his throat. 

He crossed his arms across his broad chest and his dark eyes were trained on Tanaka. “Problem?”

Knowing much better than to put up a fight, Tanaka shook his head and backed into the remaining seat, a cheap plastic lawn chair that wobbled precariously under his weight. 

Their beloved Shimizu-san didn’t spare him a physical glance, but Tanaka felt the slight glimmer of her inner gaze, a small gesture of support. On any other day, it would’ve been more than enough to have him sobbing happily into her feet as he threw himself on the carpet, but Daichi’s growl rumbled through his thoughts. 

Tanaka realized he was feeling a lot of things in that moment. Nervous about the impromptu meeting that felt like a trap. Jealous of how damn easy it was for Iwaizumi to be so chill. Irritated by Kyoutani’s fashionably-lined eyes and curved upper lip. Humbled in the face of Shimizu-san’s ethereal beauty. Kind of aroused by Daichi’s command of the room. 

Daichi was still giving him the evil eye, but his scowl, while still very evident and creasing his ageless face, softened slightly. He entered Tanaka’s mind with ease.

_Really? Right now?_

Tanaka’s nerves let up just enough to grin and waggle his brows. _I can’t even think my boyfriend is hot anymore? C’mon Daichi-san._ Tanaka made sure to hold the honorific until Daichi pressed his lips into a thin line. 

_In front of our roommates?_

_Can’t help it, my guy. I missed you._

He hadn’t meant to let the last part slip, wanting instead to try referencing a meme he'd seen the other day, but Daichi didn’t miss a beat. 

_I missed you too, but don’t change the subject._

Daichi took one more look at Tanaka before addressing the group out loud. “You all know why we're here.”

Iwaizumi and Shimizu-san nodded, Kyoutani shrugged and Tanaka racked his brain for an answer. He tried subtlety reaching into Daichi’s head for a clue but his boyfriend’s mind was on triple lockdown and Daichi was in full boss mode. He gulped audibly as he accepted the fact that he was the only one without a clue. 

He knew it was trap, but he couldn’t put the pieces together.

Daichi was more than ready to connect the dots. “The bathroom is literally a bloody nightmare." 

Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, Tanaka caught an awful whiff from the hallway. The memory of bile rose in his throat and the blood that had given him so much energy earlier soured. He gagged.

Rotten blood had a very peculiar scent, sweet to the point of sickening, an elixir turned to poison. 

Iwaizumi huffed. “It’s pretty gruesome.”

“Gettin’ more disgusting as it cools,” Kyoutani grunted in agreement. 

Tanaka withered under Daichi’s attention, unable to pale further than skin of the undead allowed, and Daichi spoke again. “Does anyone have any thoughts?”

“It was like that when we got back and Ken and I left just after you did. There was an,” Iwaizumi paused to find the correct word, “issue.” 

Daichi cocked his head, some of his anger fading into concern as he sniffed the air and made a face. Tanaka noticed it too, lurking under the rotting blood: the telltale smell of wet dog. “Issue? With the werewolves? I thought we sorted that out?”

Iwaizumi frowned. “We did. It was an internal issue. Not a big deal.”

“Oikawa-san couldn’t find his favorite jacket when he transformed the other night and for some reason we had to look for it,” Kyoutani mumbled, his eyes flickering between Iwaizumi, Daichi and the dirty carpet under his slippered feet. 

Iwaizumi had the grace to look embarrassed. “You know we’d be subjected to his unbearable howling for the next twenty years if we didn’t help.”

“He’s annoying as hell.”

“You’re not wrong,” Iwaizumi conceded. “Unfortunately, and mostly for me, I know, Oikawa’s also my best friend and a powerful ally.”

It was a truth even Tanaka understood, but Kyoutani did not look happy to accept it as such. Iwaizumi leaned forward and put a hand on his back. “Ken, you know he has our back, right?” Kyoutani didn’t answer the question out loud but he leaned into Iwaizumi’s touch. The reaction placated Iwaizumi enough to turn his attention back to Daichi, who had watched the exchange with interest. “We got back right around the time you did, Sawamura.”

“Noted.” Daichi nodded before turning to Shimizu-san. Usually, Tanaka loved watching the two of them have a silent conversation, but he had a bad feeling about their discreet mental whispering. When they broke their concentration, Daichi looked at Tanaka expectantly. 

“Tanaka?”

“Oh, uh,” Tanaka stuttered ineloquently. He made a valiant effort to cobble words together and prayed they’d be coherent. “You, Daichi, you left early and then Yuu came over to practice our mirror show. The one I’ve told you about.”

“From what I’ve seen of their practices, it’s not their worst show,” Kiyoko added quietly.

Tanaka started to wave goodbye to whatever remained of his soul before it left his body on its journey to enlightenment, but Iwaizumi sent it crashing back into his corpse with a dull thud. 

“Not as bad as their last one, I hope,” he said with an playful grin, making Kyoutani snort. 

“Nishinoya usually leaves by midnight,” Daichi said, narrowing his eyes and ignoring Tanaka’s hissing. “And it’s pushing four in the morning, which means there’s a lot of unanswered for time in there.”

Tanaka was about to tell him about how successful he’d been on the town but his jaw fell open instead. He shut it quickly and brought his mental walls up as fast and as solidly as he knew how. 

In his excitement about the mirror show and overabundance of human blood, he had totally forgotten about their former roommate rapping on the door. He tried not to think about Sugawara Koushi tapping on the windows and smiling sweetly. He tried not to think about the way Suga asked to enter and tried not to remember his triumphant smirk when Tanaka had eventually opened the door for him and the humans he’d kured out into the woods. 

Tanaka thought he’d been fast, but his imposing boyfriend managed to creep into the dusty corners of his mind anyway. He studied Tanaka intently, processing the mental pictures that Tanaka had let slip despite his desperate efforts to keep them hidden. 

“Ryuu,” Daichi said with a sinister voice. “We need to talk.”

“Did he do it?” Kyoutani said looking between Daichi and Tanaka. “What happened?”

Iwaizumi stood. “Not really our business,” he said. “We done here?” 

Daichi heaved a heavy sigh. “We’re done, thanks guys.”

That was enough of an answer for Kyoutani, who followed Iwaizumi out of the common area down to their shared space in the basement. 

The house had a door leading down to the basement from the main hallway, but they left through the front door so they could walk around to the back of the house and use the separate entrance Iwaizumi had installed some years prior. Daichi hadn’t approved of it at first, citing all the things that could go wrong, like accidental sun exposure and vulnerability to undesirable guests like hunters and adventurous college students who thought it was a haunted house, but after Iwaizumi’s first get-together with the local werewolf pack, the house smelled like musty dog and body odor for a full ten days and Daichi was more than happy to let them have whatever they needed to make themselves cozy, far away from the rest of them.

Shimizu-san had already glided out of the room, presumably to her own space in the attic, which left Tanaka alone with a supremely attractive and eerily calm vampire.

“So,” Daichi said, spitting out the word. “You let Suga in again?” 

Tanaka nodded, wincing like Daichi had hurt him physically. He prepared himself for any number of Daichi’s anger responses, like a hard whack up to the back of his head, a string of outdated curses or a few chilly days exiled to the closet. Instead, he felt Daichi’s anger subside to a low simmer and decided it was as safe to continue as it would ever be. “I forgot he came by, the night was so good that I just didn’t think of it.” Tanaka risked meeting Daichi’s eyes. “You’re not mad?”

“Oh I’m mad,” Daichi responded. “The house smells like dead man’s blood and the bathroom looks like something out of a nightmare, even for us.” It did smell even worse than before, and Tanaka had to hold on to his knees until another wave of nausea passed. “Not only did you let Suga in knowing exactly what would happen, I also had to read your mind to find out.”

“Sorry, boss-man. I mean it. Really, I forgot all about Suga coming by until just now,” Tanaka looked away from Daichi. He was well past his ability to cloak his thoughts, so he voiced them. “And besides I couldn’t just not, y’know. It’s Suga. Even if he’s a mess.”

Daichi sat down and took one of Tanaka’s hands. He kissed his palm, a gesture almost too tender for use among the undead, and clasped their fingers together. Tanaka leaned into his sturdy shoulder.

“You shouldn’t let him walk all over you like that,” Daichi said, squeezing Tanaka’s hand. “He’s not just a mess, he’s a fucking disaster.”

Tanaka hummed. Memories bubbled up from the years they lived together, right up until Suga decided to move out just to see what it was like. Suga might’ve ignored his duties on the rotating chore wheel for years and preferred to slash arteries and feed like he was drinking from a fountain, but they were friends. And it wasn’t like he killed his humans. Suga was just as experienced as Daichi. “True,” Tanaka said with a sad snort, “Doesn’t mean I'm gonna leave him out in the cold.”

“You’re a sap.” Daichi leaned over and kissed the corner of his mouth, leaving his lips on Tanaka’s skin just long enough for him to register the sensation. Then, he laughed quietly into the skin of Tanaka's cheek. “And I love you for that.” 

“So why were you mad?”

Daichi bit the inside of his cheek. His fangs scraped his bottom lip. “I don’t expect you to keep Suga out, but you know full well that he paints the walls with blood and runs away like a gremlin if he’s left unattended. Other vampires live here and they shouldn’t be subjected to that. Anyway,” he said, tugging at Tanaka’s hand. “I’m catching up with him tomorrow night, so I’ll ask if there was a particular reason he needed our bathroom for his evening bloodbath.”

A jolt of panic shot through Tanaka’s spine and he flailed in his chair. “Wait, wait, wait, Daichi, don’t tell him I told you! He’ll drag me out into the sun! What? You know he would!”

Daichi blinked at him a few times before breaking out into a full body laugh, one that had him almost doubled over. He had to brace himself with one hand on the arm of the recliner and the other around his stomach. “You think I didn’t know Suga had been here the second I entered the house? I sensed him as soon as I got back. We fed together for centuries, Ryuu, and he knows I’d know, just like he’d recognize my feeding habits.”

“Doesn’t mean he’s not gonna torture me,” Tanaka mumbled. 

“He is an expert on finding ways to harass you,” Daichi said, not bolstering Tanaka’s confidence in his extended future. 

“You wouldn’t protect me?”

“You’re a grown vampire, Ryuu.”

“But even you’re a little afraid of Suga.”

Daichi nudged Tanaka with a playful grin. “Well yeah, I’m not an idiot.”

Tanaka managed a smile, taking note of the way Daichi seemed to glow the longer their shoulders touched. “What was all that roommate meeting stuff about, if you knew everything?” 

“I wanted you to own up to it.”

“I would’ve,” Tanaka whined. Daichi cocked his head and arched an eyebrow. “I mean, I let him in, yeah, and I forgot about it, but I would’ve told you eventually, when I remembered,” he reasoned. “Can’t reading my mind count as telling you?”

“No,” Daichi said, pulling Tanaka out of the chair as he rose from the floor. 

He had a feeling it was a lost cause, but Tanaka tried anyway. “It’s basically the same thing.”

Daichi looped an arm around Tanaka’s waist. “Not even close.” Tanaka slumped into Daichi’s side with an exaggerated frown. “Don’t make that face, you look like your moronic human friend after Kiyoko leaves the room.”

Affronted, Tanaka jerked his head back on his neck. “Excuse you, Nishinoya Yuu is the opposite of moronic.”

“And what would that be?” Daichi teased. 

“Uh, the epitome of all things awesome and cool?”

Daichi chuckled, his tongue poking out as he smiled. “He has his moments, like someone else I know.”

“Who?” Tanaka asked. He hoped Daichi wouldn’t notice the harsh note of envy in the back of his mind, but, as usual, Daichi was one step ahead of him. 

He tightened his arm possessively around Tanaka. “Take a wild guess.”

“Oh.”

Tanaka hadn’t even realized they’d been walking until Daichi stopped them and pulled Tanaka in for a deep kiss. He felt Daichi’s fangs tug at the skin of his lips and shuddered, but Daichi pulled away and Tanaka chased the kiss until the smell of rotten blood assaulted every single one of his senses and made it impossible for him to focus on Daichi's lips. He looked behind him at the door to the defiled bathroom. Daichi had led them straight there without him noticing. 

“You think that just because I love you that you’ll get out of cleaning the bathroom?”

Sawamura Daichi was an old, important and devious vampire with a raging sadistic streak.

“But!” Tanaka sputtered, trying to find the words. “This is Suga’s mess!”

“And who was the handsome creature that let him in and left him alone to make the mess?” Tanaka frowned, but Daichi could barely contain himself. He tapped Tanaka’s nose with his index finger. “If you’re going to let him in, you have to make sure he cleans up after himself otherwise it’s your," he tapped Tanaka's nose again, "Responsibility.”

Tanaka couldn’t poke a hole in Daichi’s logic, so he tried a different tactic in a last-ditch effort to salvage the night. “But the sun’s gonna come up in like two hours.”

He thought bringing his survival into the picture would make Daichi rethink his stance on who had to clean the bathroom, but Daichi pinned him with a look that could level buildings. “Then you better work fast.”

Tanaka was speechless as Daichi disappeared down the hallway. He let out a small, defeated whine which faded into a pathetic gurgle in the back of his throat. When he heard Daichi’s climb the stairs, he was forced to accept that his boyfriend wasn’t kidding and he would actually have to spend the rest of his previously amazing night scraping blood off walls. 

When he finally opened the bathroom door, he cursed for a solid three minutes and swore up and down and back that he would never let Suga in the house again. 

There was a small prodding in his mind, and Tanaka could hear Daichi’s voice. _That’s what you said last time!_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!! I appreciate, and if you like vampires and movies and enjoying yourself, please watch What We Do in the Shadows because it breathed so much life into this fic. 
> 
> Just for kicks, here's the working summary that I gave to a friend outside of fandom: A vampire lets a sloppy bitch vampire into his and that vampire left a metric shit-ton of blood in the bathroom and his roommates were like, gee, I wonder what soft-ass motherfucker let that asshole in.


End file.
